this is me.

This is me looking inside a fake heart.

This is me back to blogging?

TWIT

Just realized I didn't turn the crockpot on before I left this morning. #dinnerfail

absentee

I've been absent of late. I returned home last Tuesday after spending 11 days playing mom to these three babes in Pennsylvania. I miss them like crazy. They call me "Sissie" although, technically, I'm their aunt. I started tearing up at work last week when someone asked how my trip was. We had so many fun adventures and it's just plain hard to not be near them all the time to watch them grow. Stop growing up so fast my littles!

Photos and stories to come...

pancakes

This is just plain cool. WARNING: don't click the link if you don't want to feel like an inadequate parent... :)

on motherhood

I may not be a mother to children of my own (yet) but I consider myself a mother of sorts to 70+ 3-11 year olds every Sunday when I "teach" music to them at my church. I did, however, feel a tiny glimpse of motherhood's joy when one of my little friends brought me this for Mother's Day:

What a charmer. Girls, watch out for this one!

mother's day

For Mama Wilson (Wendy's Mom):

For Mama Willis (Greg's mom):

No explanation necessary, right? Ha, ha. :)

Love you both!

deef

This post by Meg inspired me to share the following...


We sat side-by-side on a church pew; we being me, he, and he's girlfriend. I don't remember what the man standing at the pulpit was saying. All I remember is that he said, "deef," and as soon as the words escaped his lips, me turned to he and he to me in unison, both wearing a look of utter confusion. I think we may have mouthed "deef" to each other and then, unsuccessfully, tried to contain our laughter. Meanwhile, girlfriend sits clueless outside the connection forming between me and he. He later told me that moment brought a thought, "You should marry a girl like Wendy." Little did he know what the thought really meant, "You will marry Wendy."

may 5th

I have Cinco de Mayo breath.

Carne asada with white corn tortillas, pico de gallo and guacamole.
Cuban rice.
Frijoles de olla.
And two churros for good measure :) They were smallish. Kinda. (That made me feel better.)

retraction

I take it back. Last night I dreamed I was a collegiate football player. We're not talking a 7th string bench warmer either, I was a starter. What position did I play? No clue. Shows how much I know about football. Sorry dad...

Beautiful Inspiration

singing time

I'm having dreams about primary singing time every night and I've even heard Greg humming primary songs on multiple occasions. It's officially taken over my life.

chop, chop

I think you get the idea (goofy face and all).

ahh-choo!

Allergies, be gone!

letter

My mom found this letter (written on a leftover valentine envelope no less) while going through some things at her house recently:

Was I a funny kid or what?!?

I wonder what I used for the 7 very small pieces of love...

I spy...

I spy Greg competing in the Legacy Duathlon 04.17.10

I spy Allie's aunt Sarah...

california dreamin'

A few additional California highlights:

The beach.

Two of my favorite boys all dressed up.

Nephew Ethan and my sweetie.

shuffle

Shuffleboard, anyone?

We went to California* for a few days in February with the Willis crew and Grandpa Willis taught us to play shuffleboard. IT'S HARDER THAN YOU WOULD THINK. (Read: I wasn't very good at it :) It was fun though and as Grandpa would say, there's nothing funnier than a bunch of 80 year old men swearing up a storm while they play. These people are serious about their shuffleboard. I wish we could have seen one of their tournaments. Matching team outfits and all. Hilarious.


*Sadly, the reason we went was for Grandma Willis' funeral. It's times like these when we lean on our beliefs for comfort. We know Grandma is in a good place and we will see her again.

string cheese

Is 9 a.m. too early for string cheese?

I didn't think so either.



Notes on string cheese:
(Yes, I've managed to accumulate this much of an opinion on the matter over my years.)

• String cheese must be eaten right out of the fridge while still very cold. Waiting even a few minutes to eat it entirely ruins the experience. (Did I just refer to eating string cheese as an experience? Clearly I need to get out more-dang grad school.)
• Western Family string cheese reins supreme. I've tried other string cheeses, they just aren't as good.
• String cheese is the best mid-morning snack ever created.
• String cheese must be eaten in strings. Taking bites out of the whole stick is STRICTLY forbidden and just plain gross.

Now you know :)

mario at church

The children were extra wiggly during singing time last week so I had everyone stand up for a little bit of "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." We started out by singing it soooo slow it was almost painful. Two quicker renditions later I told the kids we were going to sing it "Really, really fast. Like......super mario fast." It just fell out of my mouth that way and the kids ATE. IT. UP.

I have a feeling this one is going to stick.


P.S. They decided that "super mario fast" is when Mario gets a star item and becomes invincible.

noted

Note to self: Never ask primary children how old they think you are. It's not good for your ego.

P.S. I'm the primary chorister in my ward now. Still doing the cub scout gig as well.

super

Loving these vintage style Superhero posters by Michael Myers:

Do you think I could pull off hanging these in our bedroom? :)

Found via Ohdeedoh.

kisses

I just found out Hershey's makes kisses with macadamia nuts in them. Bad news, they're only sold in Hawaii. Good news, just another reason I need to go to Hawaii some day...

two years ago

We sat in the room adjacent to the one where we would be sealed for all eternity as our Sealer asked us how we met and what our plans were for the future.

"Do you have any questions about the ceremony?"

Greg and I looked at each other and shrugged.

"Let's do it!" Greg said.

The Sealer and I erupted with laughter (quiet laughter that is - since we were in the temple :)

"Ok then, let's get this done." The Sealer said.

We walked into the room where our family and friends were waiting. I was sooo nervous to see everyone. Not nervous because I was about to make eternal covenants, no, just nervous to see my loved ones waiting to witness the ceremony.

We walked out of the room 15 minutes later (estimation) man and wife for eternity. That's including the chat before the ceremony, the ceremony, and hugging everyone in the room after. I do believe we may have set the record for fastest wedding at the Bountiful Temple.

We had family members who were unable to attend the ceremony who missed the majority of the picture taking on the temple grounds after because the ceremony was so quick.

What can I say? My man knows what he wants and there's no waiting necessary.

Happy two years my Gregory Allan.

at heiner's 04.06.10

"Home should be more than just a fueling station."

Amen.



Visit past editions of "at heiner's" here.

balanced

What's better than finding $20 in your pocket? Finding over $200 in your checking account because of two silly math errors. We're talking addition and subtraction people, this isn't rocket science. It's not even calculus in fact. That's right, I'm one of those people. My check register must balance - to the penny - for me to sleep at night. I've been pouring over bank statements for longer than I'll admit trying to find a missing deposit when all along it was me not being able to add correctly. Sigh of relief.

I think it's time for a nap.

And maybe a repeat of first grade...

what?

Ok, I'm coming out of the woodworks for this one...


I see what they're trying to do here (give you a variety of skin tone shades to color with) but this just seems weird to me. Anyone?

P.S. We recently "acquired" wi-fi so this posting thing might become a regular gig again...

at heiner's 02.12.10

A new series on bits: at heiner's

I drive past Heiner's Insurance Center on my way to work everyday. They have a marquee in front of their building where they post a funny/thought provoking quote that they change frequently. I'm sure I'm not the only one in town who keeps track of the marquee to see when it changes. It's good for a laugh or contemplative moment to start my day. I'll be posting the quotes that strike me.

So, today at Heiner's.....

"Don't judge a book by its movie."

Not a new thought, but it got me thinking. Which books have you read whose movie counterparts were a disappointment? Which movies turned out better than the books they came from? Did seeing the movie first ruin the book for you? Discuss.

My first thought was Harry Potter. Let it be known that I LOVE HARRY POTTER. The movies are ok but I've heard of too many people who saw the movies first and weren't interested in reading the books. There are so many awesome details that the movies can't explore.

"art"

Since we do birthdays right in my department (Man I talk about work a lot.), I thought I'd share the latest birthday adventure.

Yesterday was co-worker's birthday. The same co-worker who has now eaten a waffle and had his office emptied by my hand. I may have put something of his in Jell-O once as well. We had the waffle breakfast in his honor, but it didn't stop there. You may remember the amount of art in co-workers office.

Exhibit A
(It should be noted that all of his walls are covered like this)

We thought it only appropriate to add to his art collection for his birthday present this year (enter Photoshop). Here are a few of the masterpieces he found in his office yesterday:

The Blue Boy 1770
by Thomas Gainsborough

American Gothic
by Grant Wood

Seven Dogs Playing Poker
by Cassius Marcellus Collidge

And my personal favorite:

Self Portrait with Grey Felt Hat
By Vincent Van Gogh

Tomorrow

By "tomorrow" I actually mean today; which was today's tomorrow, yesterday.

Maybe this will help you make sense of that: Yesterday's throat clogging turtleneck choking weirdness has turned into today's fuzzy headed nose sniffling hot flash inducing sickness. Simply put, I'm skipping the gym and going straight home to my pj's, hot cocoa, and a chick-flick (You've Got Mail is my classic "I'm sick" go-to movie).

It should also be known that co-worker had his first waffle today! We should've taken a picture. Dang. I believe his words were, "This is good!" I think that means he liked it. "It" meaning he only ate one. (I'm not telling how many I ate.) I know on good authority that he has already recorded the event in his journal. I still can't believe it took 34 years for that man to experience a waffle. What a weirdo.

today

I'm dreaming of Cozumel today. My turtleneck is choking me. Maybe my throat is clogged. Greg thinks my turtleneck is "sentient" and is trying to kill me. He suggested I just take my shirt off.* He says there are plenty of people that couldn't get away with taking their shirt off at work, but that I could. Thanks for the vote of confidence sweetie, but I probably need this job.

I think I'm ready for spring.

I'm having a weird day. "Better" stuff tomorrow.



*Too much information? We all know I could have said much worse. Did you blush Mom?

doppelganger 2

How about one a little closer to home?

Jack Black

My brother Adam

(I may or may not have stolen this off his Facebook...)

Take a look at this picture posted by my sister Kate of her daughter who has a striking resemblance to the Gerber baby...

doppelganger

If you've been on Facebook recently, I'm sure you've seen the "doppelganger craze" that has taken over. If you're totally clueless, Facebook users are replacing their profile photo with one of their celebrity look-alike. (FYI This article says it's illegal.) The only time I remember being told I look like a celebrity was when my grandma said I looked like Lindsay Lohan...granted this was around the time of The Parent Trap but we're still going to avoid that connection...

I have a real doozy of a doppelganger for you though:

Steve Martin as police inspector Jacques Clouseau
(The Pink Panther 2006)

Guy I work with as police inspector Jacques Clouseau
(Halloween 2008)

Scary, right?

gem

During another organization craze at work I found an old booklet titled "Progress Report." It was stashed with annual reports from my work so I assumed that's what it was. Boy was I ever wrong. Or so I hope...

A sampling of the pages:

And my personal favorite...

The best part is that I have no idea where it came from. There are no identifying logos or words anywhere in the entire booklet.

opt out

I've never seen a single episode of Lost and I love it. Weird thing to love, right? I don't have a problem with Lost and I'm not taking some kind of principled stand by not watching it. I just think you need to say no sometimes.

I've heard and seen Lost obsession everywhere this week. On blogs, on the radio, on TV, on Facebook, shaved into the neighbors' dog, etc. I've come to the conclusion that there are just too many things going on in our world to be involved with all of them. I've chosen to opt out of watching Lost.

Go on, tell me what I'm missing. I'll probably tell you I don't care.

I'm so rude.


P.S. I've also never seen 24. And Greg hates American Idol.

groundhog day

Dear Sunset Sam,

Phil doesn't know what he's talking about. Come out of that burrow and bring us an early spring! Our heating bill could really use it...

ugly

This is what happens when you ask someone to take your picture...

...You get a very fuzzy result (click to see the reality of the fuzz).

L - R: Elsa (the boss), Andy ("never eaten a waffle"), Wendy (the me), Rory (the photog)

This is what happens when someone takes your picture without you knowing...


...You get caught laughing your head off.

Not the greatest, but at least you get a glimpse of my ugly sweater and awesome red skinny jeans from Halloween.

*Sorry for the shrinky-dink photos. Photobucket was given me trouble. Grr.

karma

Today was the "Ugly Sweater Contest" I planned at work. (For those who don't know, I do marketing at a college.) A trip to the D.I. took place a few weeks ago to find suitable attire for the event. I was pleased with my purchase when Greg's reaction was simply, "Yikes." Jackpot. Greg was officially appalled when he realized I was going to wear said ugly sweater all day at work today, rather than changing into it right before the contest.

Greg: At least I know you won't get hit on today.

Me: What? I could totally get hit on in this outfit. Have you seen the students at the college? (Admittedly not tasteful on my part.)

Greg: Most days I worry you'll get hit on at work; but not today.

Me: (Thinking: Most days?) Gee thanks. Maybe I'll bring home the grand prize.

Fast forward to after the contest...

E-mails:

Me: Well, we didn't have a huge turnout for the sweater contest but it was still really fun. We had a bunch of people say they would participate if we did it again though. I saved two of the votes that were turned in for the people's choice award. I attached them. I wish I knew who "the cute girl" was. Too funny.

The Votes
(I hope you're not offended by the first one...)

Greg: Wow. You totally got hit on. I didn't think that was going to happen with that outfit.

Karma:1 Greg :0

I can't say that "the cute girl" is me (for sure-ha) but I'll pretend it is just to teach Greg a lesson.

chime in

I decided* I'm getting a new camera (point and shoot) for my birthday. I bought the one we have about four years ago and its shutter speed is wayyyy toooo sloooow. Do you have a camera you love? Hate? I would appreciate your suggestions...



*Greg has to love this, right? I won't even feel bad if I'm the one to order it :)

forgotten

I'm about to tell you something really embarrassing.

Last week I was visiting my parents and it went as it always does. I tell my mom so-and-so is engaged/pregnant/promoted/maimed/etc and my dad asks if so-and-so is the child of older-so-and-so. I never know so we turn to Facebook for answers. We search through wedding photo albums until we determine, with the aid of dad's high school yearbooks, that so-and-so is in fact older-so-and-so's offspring. How does the man do it? His ability to recognize familial ties astounds me.

Now to the embarrassing part. While looking through the photos we came across one that reminded us all of a funny video involving a man, a destination, and a fox hat. (If you don't know, I won't pollute your mind with the details.) My dad discovered this video at least 5 years ago and was so thrilled with it that he shared it with anyone who visited (Love you dad, but we both know this isn't an exaggeration). Upon seeing the aforementioned photo I recited the punch line and dad replied with, "I don't get it". He and mom laughed. In my confusion I asked what was funny...

Dad: Remember when your friend [so-and-so] didn't understand the movie and said, "I don't get it"?

Me: [So-and-so]? I've never had a friend named [so-and-so].

Mom: Yes you did. Remember, you dated him?...

Me: What?

Dad: What was his last name...[so-and-so], [so-and-so surname]!


That's right, I totally forgot that a person I dated even existed. I'm getting old; I also need to get my thyroid checked.


P.S. Every guy I ever dated with any amount of seriousness has seen the video so there's no need to worry he would know this was him if he were to read this.

P.S.S. Greg had a big smile when I told him about this.

waffle baffle

I have a co-worker who claims he has never eaten a waffle. Pancakes? Yes. He told me he ate so many pancakes on his LDS mission, in fact, that he can no longer stand to eat them.

I question his knowledge of what a waffle is. That's the only explanation I've come up with. I mean really, how can a person who grew up in Utah AND has parents have never eaten a waffle? Did I mention he's over 30 years old?! I think it's apparent I'm appalled by this.

Maybe he's just afraid of waffles for some disturbing reason. Our boss made us Belgian waffles for breakfast at a department retreat a few weeks ago and he ended up with the stomach flu and didn't attend. Likely story.

The real dilemma is this: How can I reasonably trust a person who has never eaten a waffle? No wonder I feel compelled to play practical jokes on the guy.

A waffle party is already in the works for his birthday this year.

in response

Comment from this post:

Dear Wendy,
I love your posts. Thanks for always making me smile.
Love,
Amy
PS- I found my writing portfolio the other night- Including a book we started writing together based on the Baby Sitter's Club. The catch phrase? Eight girls and their eight stories from their seven weeks of haunted summer. Who wouldn't want to read it?

My response:

Dear Amy,

Thank you for reading. I figure I owe you at least one smile since I threw a brick at you as a child. I'm still relieved I missed. I remember running in fear as my brothers yelled "Run Wendy, run" from the back deck as your mom chased me around the house. Then I hid under my bed until our moms finished their conversation on our porch. I believe that was the day I sealed my fate of playing soccer, as opposed to softball. I'm glad we could remain friends.

Love, Wendy

PS- In a recent effort to overcome my own genetic pack ratness :) I found copies of two stories you wrote. I think they were for our "club." What did we call it again? Something about crafts and dancing...I forget. I'll post a picture of one of the covers, including Bob's signature. Yes, he desecrated one of the covers with his kid handwriting. Typical. Also, I need your address because you should certainly be in possession of these stories, not me.

approaching fisticuffs

Last Friday was the first CHURCH BALL game of the season. I think that explains the title of this post.

In my experience, church ball is an anxiety-ridden drama inducing ulcer factory. Maybe there's something wrong with me, but I really enjoy it. Do you think growing up with five brothers, two of which played high school hockey, has anything to do with it?

Last week's game was particularly "exciting." Spoiler alert: no punches were thrown, but the wife of the elders quorum president sitting next to me was worried her husband would be the one to start it.

The start of the game was very promising when my good friend Meg announced she had a veggie tray in her purse and her intention was for us to eat it. Um, yes please. I, being impressed with what I thought was brilliant foresight on her part, complimented her on bringing an excellent snack.

Meg: "Oh, I just happened to have it so I thought I'd bring it."

Wendy: "I can't wait for the day when I just happen to have a veggie tray. I can honestly say that has never happened to me."

Things turned south quick when I realized which team "we" were playing. The jerk team. The jerk team, as I apparently call them, was the one we butted heads with last year. The one with the scrawny know-it-all with the 80's haircut and the seven foot 35 year old stuck in the glory days who seems to think this will be the game he finally gets drafted. I admit a bias. They really did cause problems when they tried to steamroll the Tuesday night pick-up games at our church house last year. Sure their gym was under construction and they've had the Tuesday night ritual for years, but this is our turf! Choose another night. Geez.

On with the game. We were getting a lot of fouls called on us but from what I could see both teams were playing rough. It's usually a good thing when one of the refs is from your ward (he plays on the geezer team), but not this time.

Munch, carrots.

We have a Polynesian WSU football player on our team who can appear quite intimidating but is the biggest tease. I look up from the sugar snap peas to see him getting escorted into the hall by a player on the other team. I hear something about him being the stake athletic director so he can make calls on the court if he wants to.* Our team member eventually gets a technical and the job of score-keeping on the sideline.

Munch, munch celery.

At one point the refs stopped the game and both teams huddle to regroup. Two members of our bishopric were there and went on the court to tell our team to cool it.

Munch, munch, munch cherry tomatoes.

The next thing I know, Greg is saying "That's the best call you made all night!" After which he stormed off the court in my direction, grabbed his coat from my lap, and headed for the door. In my confusion I asked, "What's going on?" "We're leaving." That was my cue to get up and get out.

Apparently Greg got kicked out of the game. It looked like he just decided to leave from my seat.

Saturday morning came and Greg started to worry a bit.

Greg: "In my parents' stake you have to talk to the stake president to get permission to play again if you get kicked out of a game."

Wendy: "For real?"

Greg: "I just hope I don't get called into the bishop's office tomorrow."

9:00 a.m. Sunday came with great apprehension.

Much to Greg's relief, he got slaps on the back from all. The first counselor in the bishopric complimented Greg on "the best comment of the game" and a member of the stake presidency had a good laugh about it with us.

I guess we'll be at the game tonight after all.


*This is where I took [biased] paraphrasing license

where there's smoke...

The scene opens on a college marketing employee working at her desk. Time period: last Wednesday, mid-afternoon


Coworker "V": (walking past my desk) It smells kind of smoky in here.

Wendy: That's true, it does.

V: (continuing down the hall) Whatever [boss "E"] has burning in her office is smoking like crazy!

Wendy: What? (I jump out of my chair and realize the hall is filling with smoke. I enter E's office which is full of smoke.) It must be the space heater under her desk. (Fearing flames I looked under the desk to find a leather briefcase pushed against the space heater.)

V: (Standing in the hall watching me buzz about saving the office from ruin. Repeat, just standing there.)

Wendy: (Pulling the briefcase away from the space heater I assess the damage) Well, it's not ruined.

E: (Nowhere to be found.)

Wendy: We were probably seconds away from the fire alarm going off.

V: Probably. (Walks down the hall.)

Wendy: Thinking: Really? I just saved the office from burning down. Not to mention saving ["E"] from complete embarrassment and evacuation of the entire building.


Moral(s) of the story:

• Don't put a space heater under your desk. Duh.
• Show a little appreciation the next time I save your job and therefore your life.*
• Sheesh.

*Drama added for comedic effect.

of late

Been wondering what we've been up to? I thought so.

Greg is killing it at work and school. Here's the latest review of a microsite he created for a marketing campaign at work.

As for me, I've been pouring on the charm with the nursery crowd. Remember the boy who asked his mom to let him wear cologne to church for me? He graduated to Sunbeams two weeks ago but he almost had me in tears when he came running up to me after Sacrament Meeting yesterday. In other news, the Pinewood Derby is this month. Vroom!

And we got new curtains for our living room.* Life's good.



*We're tackling the decorating one room at a time. The living room is coming together nicely. Come check it out!