retraction

I take it back. Last night I dreamed I was a collegiate football player. We're not talking a 7th string bench warmer either, I was a starter. What position did I play? No clue. Shows how much I know about football. Sorry dad...

singing time

I'm having dreams about primary singing time every night and I've even heard Greg humming primary songs on multiple occasions. It's officially taken over my life.

ahh-choo!

Allergies, be gone!

string cheese

Is 9 a.m. too early for string cheese?

I didn't think so either.



Notes on string cheese:
(Yes, I've managed to accumulate this much of an opinion on the matter over my years.)

• String cheese must be eaten right out of the fridge while still very cold. Waiting even a few minutes to eat it entirely ruins the experience. (Did I just refer to eating string cheese as an experience? Clearly I need to get out more-dang grad school.)
• Western Family string cheese reins supreme. I've tried other string cheeses, they just aren't as good.
• String cheese is the best mid-morning snack ever created.
• String cheese must be eaten in strings. Taking bites out of the whole stick is STRICTLY forbidden and just plain gross.

Now you know :)

noted

Note to self: Never ask primary children how old they think you are. It's not good for your ego.

P.S. I'm the primary chorister in my ward now. Still doing the cub scout gig as well.

super

Loving these vintage style Superhero posters by Michael Myers:

Do you think I could pull off hanging these in our bedroom? :)

Found via Ohdeedoh.

kisses

I just found out Hershey's makes kisses with macadamia nuts in them. Bad news, they're only sold in Hawaii. Good news, just another reason I need to go to Hawaii some day...

two years ago

We sat in the room adjacent to the one where we would be sealed for all eternity as our Sealer asked us how we met and what our plans were for the future.

"Do you have any questions about the ceremony?"

Greg and I looked at each other and shrugged.

"Let's do it!" Greg said.

The Sealer and I erupted with laughter (quiet laughter that is - since we were in the temple :)

"Ok then, let's get this done." The Sealer said.

We walked into the room where our family and friends were waiting. I was sooo nervous to see everyone. Not nervous because I was about to make eternal covenants, no, just nervous to see my loved ones waiting to witness the ceremony.

We walked out of the room 15 minutes later (estimation) man and wife for eternity. That's including the chat before the ceremony, the ceremony, and hugging everyone in the room after. I do believe we may have set the record for fastest wedding at the Bountiful Temple.

We had family members who were unable to attend the ceremony who missed the majority of the picture taking on the temple grounds after because the ceremony was so quick.

What can I say? My man knows what he wants and there's no waiting necessary.

Happy two years my Gregory Allan.

at heiner's 04.06.10

"Home should be more than just a fueling station."

Amen.



Visit past editions of "at heiner's" here.

balanced

What's better than finding $20 in your pocket? Finding over $200 in your checking account because of two silly math errors. We're talking addition and subtraction people, this isn't rocket science. It's not even calculus in fact. That's right, I'm one of those people. My check register must balance - to the penny - for me to sleep at night. I've been pouring over bank statements for longer than I'll admit trying to find a missing deposit when all along it was me not being able to add correctly. Sigh of relief.

I think it's time for a nap.

And maybe a repeat of first grade...

what?

Ok, I'm coming out of the woodworks for this one...


I see what they're trying to do here (give you a variety of skin tone shades to color with) but this just seems weird to me. Anyone?

P.S. We recently "acquired" wi-fi so this posting thing might become a regular gig again...

at heiner's 02.12.10

A new series on bits: at heiner's

I drive past Heiner's Insurance Center on my way to work everyday. They have a marquee in front of their building where they post a funny/thought provoking quote that they change frequently. I'm sure I'm not the only one in town who keeps track of the marquee to see when it changes. It's good for a laugh or contemplative moment to start my day. I'll be posting the quotes that strike me.

So, today at Heiner's.....

"Don't judge a book by its movie."

Not a new thought, but it got me thinking. Which books have you read whose movie counterparts were a disappointment? Which movies turned out better than the books they came from? Did seeing the movie first ruin the book for you? Discuss.

My first thought was Harry Potter. Let it be known that I LOVE HARRY POTTER. The movies are ok but I've heard of too many people who saw the movies first and weren't interested in reading the books. There are so many awesome details that the movies can't explore.

today

I'm dreaming of Cozumel today. My turtleneck is choking me. Maybe my throat is clogged. Greg thinks my turtleneck is "sentient" and is trying to kill me. He suggested I just take my shirt off.* He says there are plenty of people that couldn't get away with taking their shirt off at work, but that I could. Thanks for the vote of confidence sweetie, but I probably need this job.

I think I'm ready for spring.

I'm having a weird day. "Better" stuff tomorrow.



*Too much information? We all know I could have said much worse. Did you blush Mom?

doppelganger

If you've been on Facebook recently, I'm sure you've seen the "doppelganger craze" that has taken over. If you're totally clueless, Facebook users are replacing their profile photo with one of their celebrity look-alike. (FYI This article says it's illegal.) The only time I remember being told I look like a celebrity was when my grandma said I looked like Lindsay Lohan...granted this was around the time of The Parent Trap but we're still going to avoid that connection...

I have a real doozy of a doppelganger for you though:

Steve Martin as police inspector Jacques Clouseau
(The Pink Panther 2006)

Guy I work with as police inspector Jacques Clouseau
(Halloween 2008)

Scary, right?

opt out

I've never seen a single episode of Lost and I love it. Weird thing to love, right? I don't have a problem with Lost and I'm not taking some kind of principled stand by not watching it. I just think you need to say no sometimes.

I've heard and seen Lost obsession everywhere this week. On blogs, on the radio, on TV, on Facebook, shaved into the neighbors' dog, etc. I've come to the conclusion that there are just too many things going on in our world to be involved with all of them. I've chosen to opt out of watching Lost.

Go on, tell me what I'm missing. I'll probably tell you I don't care.

I'm so rude.


P.S. I've also never seen 24. And Greg hates American Idol.

groundhog day

Dear Sunset Sam,

Phil doesn't know what he's talking about. Come out of that burrow and bring us an early spring! Our heating bill could really use it...

karma

Today was the "Ugly Sweater Contest" I planned at work. (For those who don't know, I do marketing at a college.) A trip to the D.I. took place a few weeks ago to find suitable attire for the event. I was pleased with my purchase when Greg's reaction was simply, "Yikes." Jackpot. Greg was officially appalled when he realized I was going to wear said ugly sweater all day at work today, rather than changing into it right before the contest.

Greg: At least I know you won't get hit on today.

Me: What? I could totally get hit on in this outfit. Have you seen the students at the college? (Admittedly not tasteful on my part.)

Greg: Most days I worry you'll get hit on at work; but not today.

Me: (Thinking: Most days?) Gee thanks. Maybe I'll bring home the grand prize.

Fast forward to after the contest...

E-mails:

Me: Well, we didn't have a huge turnout for the sweater contest but it was still really fun. We had a bunch of people say they would participate if we did it again though. I saved two of the votes that were turned in for the people's choice award. I attached them. I wish I knew who "the cute girl" was. Too funny.

The Votes
(I hope you're not offended by the first one...)

Greg: Wow. You totally got hit on. I didn't think that was going to happen with that outfit.

Karma:1 Greg :0

I can't say that "the cute girl" is me (for sure-ha) but I'll pretend it is just to teach Greg a lesson.

waffle baffle

I have a co-worker who claims he has never eaten a waffle. Pancakes? Yes. He told me he ate so many pancakes on his LDS mission, in fact, that he can no longer stand to eat them.

I question his knowledge of what a waffle is. That's the only explanation I've come up with. I mean really, how can a person who grew up in Utah AND has parents have never eaten a waffle? Did I mention he's over 30 years old?! I think it's apparent I'm appalled by this.

Maybe he's just afraid of waffles for some disturbing reason. Our boss made us Belgian waffles for breakfast at a department retreat a few weeks ago and he ended up with the stomach flu and didn't attend. Likely story.

The real dilemma is this: How can I reasonably trust a person who has never eaten a waffle? No wonder I feel compelled to play practical jokes on the guy.

A waffle party is already in the works for his birthday this year.

in response

Comment from this post:

Dear Wendy,
I love your posts. Thanks for always making me smile.
Love,
Amy
PS- I found my writing portfolio the other night- Including a book we started writing together based on the Baby Sitter's Club. The catch phrase? Eight girls and their eight stories from their seven weeks of haunted summer. Who wouldn't want to read it?

My response:

Dear Amy,

Thank you for reading. I figure I owe you at least one smile since I threw a brick at you as a child. I'm still relieved I missed. I remember running in fear as my brothers yelled "Run Wendy, run" from the back deck as your mom chased me around the house. Then I hid under my bed until our moms finished their conversation on our porch. I believe that was the day I sealed my fate of playing soccer, as opposed to softball. I'm glad we could remain friends.

Love, Wendy

PS- In a recent effort to overcome my own genetic pack ratness :) I found copies of two stories you wrote. I think they were for our "club." What did we call it again? Something about crafts and dancing...I forget. I'll post a picture of one of the covers, including Bob's signature. Yes, he desecrated one of the covers with his kid handwriting. Typical. Also, I need your address because you should certainly be in possession of these stories, not me.

pop!

Confession: I have been in love with Bubble Wrap my whole life. It's just satisfying to hear those little bubbles pop. I know I'm not alone here...

Growing up with a salesman Dad meant receiving lots of samples in big boxes = Bubble Wrap. Growing up with 5 brothers meant we occasionally fought over who got the Bubble Wrap. I usually won. When I was feeling nice I shared with my little brother. I may not have felt nice as often as I should.

I would lay the Bubble Wrap carefully on the floor and run up and down the sheet until the 'popping' stopped. Then, I would methodically scan each row for unpopped bubbles to squish with my fingers.

That being said, you must understand why I need this calendar:

A bubble to pop for every day of the year? Genius.

I'm contemplating making my own. Now I just need Bubble Wrap. Who drew my name for Christmas again?

Isn't sealed air great?